Updated: Dec 25, 2020
Practicing Tantra and real love: How to do it?
This text is Maithuna or the art of sacred sex in Sanskrit. Tantra is an esoteric discipline from the tradition of Hinduism and Buddhism developed in the middle of the first millennium AD.
The term Tantra means theory, system, instrument or practice.
Here is Maithuna’s text by Elizabeth Gips.
You are Aphrodite and Adonis for the sweet flesh dances endlessly on the flesh among the bright flowers of Mount Olympus. You are the waves and the rolling of the universe in the perpetual motion of creation. You are the rutting mastodon, but you are also a point of light beyond manifestation. That point explodes into a million fragments like fireworks in cosmic eternity. The two in you are one but even the one in you melts into nothingness. Finally, beyond the thought, the concept or even the feeling of the whole, is the indescribable ecstasy as your personality dies. There is only the divine consciousness in all directions and at all times, which takes place out of time, forever.
Maithuna, the meditation of sex
Maithuna is the Sanskrit word for union. Maithuna is yogic sexual union.
It means the act of uniting two or more things in a state of being or spiritual union in order to bring about harmony. This is the unity that creates one from two, an escape from the system of duality in which we live.
Surrounded by a society that teaches us convoluted platitudes and the attitudes of TV soap operas and commercials, in a kind of adolescence of the spirit, we unlearn sexual ecstasy which is our birthright.
Sex is accessible to most adults. It cannot be made illegal (although laws in various places, including the United States, have limited the kind of sex that is legal, and give severe punishment or even death for those who break the “law”). The sexual journey should take us on walks to incredible spaces of consciousness and union with many levels of infinite reality, but it requires unlearning most of the things that religion has promulgated and that our parents, in their ignorance, passed on to us.
Making love is a way to get high, perhaps ultimately the only way. We make love when we walk down the street and smile at an old person; we make love when we pamper an animal. In all our everyday relationships with people and with all things, we either create more love, or we break the love that exists. Sexual intercourse is one way of making love. The following instructions use heterosexual terminology, their content, however, is valid for the simultaneous orgasm of yin and yang, if it occurs). Unfortunately, many of us are so separated from our bodies that we wear uncomfortable clothes, eat too much, smoke tobacco and use the “missionary” as a position during sex. This position, in which the man is above the woman, makes it very difficult for her to respond properly.
Since the woman’s body is slower to become aroused than the man’s (it is said to take at least eighty minutes before true union can begin), it is necessary for the woman to influence the timing during intercourse if the partners are to become one with each other. This requires a real loss of ego for both partners because our society teaches us that the man leads and the woman must be passive.
The myth that orgasm is the pinnacle of sexual experience is even more disturbing in a spiritually conscious sex life. Maithuna can lead to experiences that make orgasm seem pale in comparison, in the place of original creation where the earth emerges, cells multiply, life evolves in its many facets. The feeling that orgasm is necessary can be an anchor immobilizing the personality.
If man does not reach the denouement, his emotional reaction may make it difficult for him to let his personality go. On the other hand, if the woman uses fantasies or plays to stimulate her body and get a quick response, she loses the bond with her partner. It is not “wrong” to do this. But prolonged moments of such separation make the most ecstatic levels of sexuality impossible to achieve.
Rule #1: Orgasm is not an end in itself.
Someone said, perhaps Alan Watts, that the orgasm is a delightful punctuation in the act of love but not an end in itself or the end of the act.
Rule #2: the woman must be primarily responsible for the timing of the sexual act.
She will need to slow down if she feels it is too fast, and suggest the next move, either physically or verbally. To do this, she needs to lose her ego, to be very aware, at least at first, of her own body and what response it gives her. Telepathic communication develops by telling the truth.
Rule #3: Both partners must agree to tell the truth to the other at all times.
The truth in this case is what you feel, what your thoughts are heading towards. Stay focused on each other. The Star of David is a diagram of the sexual position of the Maithuna. The partners are facing each other, the man sitting cross-legged, the woman sitting on top of him with her legs around him. In this position there is no one above or below, no first or second, no beginning or end. Maithuna is sometimes called kerraza or dianism in the West or yab-yum in Tibet, take your time, it is a true meditation. So choose a quiet day, or an evening. To touch the aeons, take a feeling of leisure without restraint.
The Bath Take a bath together. Throw rose petals into the bath water; light candles and incense so that your bathing place itself becomes an altar. Look deeply into each other’s eyes until faces shift, and thoughts fade. Tell each other how much you care for each other. Now is the right time to let go of the things that are held back, all the lies, the fears, the misunderstandings. Gently touch each other’s face, shoulders, hair. After your bath, dry each other with soft towels.
Massage with sacred scents, for example amber in oil. Lie down in front of a fire or on a bed with soft blankets, and massage each other with long, slow movements of hands and arms. Press your hands a few inches on either side of the spine, from the sacroiliac, the sacred space of energy, to the base of the neck where we accumulate tension during our daily wanderings. Breathe deeply. As you massage each other, be aware of the moment. Your world right now is the place where your fingers meet each other’s bodies. Focus on that. Where the flesh touches the flesh, you are already entering a sacred space together.
The Lotus posture
When you’re ready, sit down face to face. Your legs can be crossed if you are comfortable this way, or you can lean against pillows, or even on a very large chair. If you use sacraments for expansion of consciousness, now is a good time to share them. Breathe deeply, look into your eyes again, and see yourself divine. See the god and the goddess that exist beyond your bodies, and also in them, beyond your personalities, but acting through them. Be aware. As you contemplate your partner’s face may shift and change, fade and become bright. As in a Picasso portrait, you may see several faces simultaneously, one printed on top of the other. Deepen your meditation as you look at each other from third eye to third eye, you may actually see that third eye manifesting itself on the flesh, just above the eyebrows. If you need to take your attention away, stop and discuss this need, say what you are thinking about and why. In your growing telepathic sensitivity, there is nothing to be ashamed of, and everything is to be shared. Your inner core has waited so long, perhaps a lifetime, for this moment of intimacy. This meditation on the eye is so powerful that you may just want to carry out this yogic practice for several days without having a union at another level. The more you practice it, the closer you will get, and the stronger the sexual union will be when you finally get to that.
Maithuna is the art of vibrational sex, rather than frictional sex. You can enter into this great dance, but not until your bodies tell you it is time. Until then, sit silently and look into your eyes. Do not expect anything. Ask for nothing. Like sound waves vibrating together in resonance or dissonance, if the vibrations are not integrated and in harmony between you and your partner, true union is not yet possible to achieve. Use a soft light; you do not want to make love in the dark but to amplify the senses, to expand each vision, sound, smell, with the wonder of each.
After a while, which may be long or short, you may feel like touching yourself, to feel the warmth of the flesh. The fingers move gently in unison, dancing together in the air in a prolonged caress that does not lead, and is not led either, but is a mere acquaintance of the other. You touch the shoulders, the face, the breasts. You may lose consciousness and no longer know whose fingers are whose, and whose skin is receiving as your two bodies slowly become one body caressing itself.
Don’t try to wait for nothing. Climb and fall on varying levels of consciousness. You may feel humor, joy, sorrow, or even travel beyond all feeling, lost in the dance of soft touching flesh.
Eventually, you may feel the desire to be closer. It might be hours or seem like days, but since you are traveling in and out of time with no destination in mind, it doesn’t really matter. Finally the need for closer contact develops. And then Shakti, the divine feminine energy, sits on the cross-legged man. The bodies become closer to each other in a soft somatic glow. Intuitive. Knowing almost without words where and how to move, but using kind words when they come. Sensitive. Becoming One as the centuries pass and time collapses in on itself.
If you part at times and become two again, that’s good. Begin to look into each other’s eyes again. When you know it is time, your bodies will become even more intimate. Shakti will put his legs around the man’s waist, and his penis will penetrate it.
Keep your bodies calm. There’s no need for anything more, no intention. Just a very slow pulse of energy.
You are safe together.
Your vision becomes more psychedelic. You are Tibetan deities locked in an embrace that ends duality. Eventually there is only the flowering of the sexes, the borders disappearing, no more penis or vagina. There is only the burning point of creation. There can be the history of the world, the slow slide of the limpid mud, storms raging over desolate landscapes, dinosaurs howling in the wild freedom. Or nebulae rolling in great skies. Or a goddess coming towards you to caress you with the blessing of courage. It can become silence before creation builds strange planets or tender sweetness.
The movement begins; this beautiful energy that stretches and relaxes, feels, knows ecstasy. Although you merge, you are yourself also, and the woman knows when to relax. The man knows when to withdraw for a moment.
This is the meditation of self-control whose goal is to lose oneself and find oneself again, the cosmic game of hide-and-seek that we all play with our own paths. It is possible to stop and start again many times. You may even feel like separating, feeding each other, talking, and returning to sexual union once again. You can sit, melted into an embrace, for hours, experiencing the levels of the almost infinite being.
When the time comes, there are no longer two people. There is only a shared awareness of this movement of molecules, of being oneself in the body of the Source, of being the Source itself. Sometimes an explosion permeates every atom of your consciousness until there is nothing left of you.
Together, you have become the universe in the very deep core of your beings.
This is the summary of the Maithuna, sometimes called Tantric sex.
This is the experience that makes the orgasm look like the “little death” as it is often called. This is the Great Death, an overwhelming death, a death that vibrates in its animation, a joyful death, an adventure filled with wonders through time and space. It is a surrender of personality and individuality to that essence which is at the source and fills every thing and non-thing.
Rest in serenity, knowing that you are beautiful and that your beloved is beautiful and that all creation is beautiful.
Don’t be disappointed if all this doesn’t happen the first time you try. Be patient with yourself and your lover. It is patience and giving up what you desire that will help you grow, understand and succeed. Getting comfortable with self-control when it comes to sex can take time. This is the case for most yogic practices. In India, where reincarnations are a reality, the separate soul, which is the monad, learns and grows from one incarnation to the next, time is of little importance.
Another view of ultimate orgasm by Sadhguru